I am, today on the Ides of March, feeling like I am coming out of a deep and long-lasting fog bank. I have been lethargic, jetlagged and somewhere along the way I picked up a nasty little bug that has caused, sorethroats (for a few days and then it disappeared), headaches (several times each day and not relieved by pain killers), and neuralgia that made me think I was going insane! Today I was back on the treadmill, did housework and made a lot of calls that I have been putting off since I got back from Spain. All before the clock struck 12 noon!
OH yes! Spain! The trip was wonderful. It is the third such jaunt that I have had with Missy Erin by ourselves.
The first was an August 1999 Caribbean cruise that was a gift from Erin's Great-Aunt Mary. Ryan had just found out that he was going to be going to Pearson College in Victoria B.C. on a scholarship for two years and the cool water cruise Mary and Erin were booked to go on was canceled when there was a fire aboard the ship. The alternative was a hot and very humid cruise out of Miami and Mary graciously offered me the option of taking her place. Erin was 14 and I a mere child of 40 as we embarked on that adventure! Erin, much more accustomed to traveling than I was, led the way and kept me calm and relatively cool for the entire trip. Though sitting for 6 hours in a stuffy plane on the tarmac in Toronto was not amongst my favorite experiences!
Here we are on the beach in St. Croix after our snorkelling trip where I thought every coral encrusted rock was an octopus! And yes I am just as hot as I look!
Two years later, Erin sang in a choir on Parliament Hill on July 1st and I guess technically that should count as our next adventure, but she was one of 60 kids in that choir, she wasn't in my chaperone group and with the angst that 16 years old usually exhibit towards their parents, I'll just say... She has a beautiful voice and she did us proud!
Our next time together came just months after the passing of her cherished Dad. I travelled to British Columbia to visit her at her school. (The same school Ryan had attended 1999-2001). I saw her final recital for the music program there and we did some touring on the weekend while she was off class. It was bittersweet. I was happy to be there but she was still grieving so much. And no mother likes to see her children hurting. Especially when you are totally powerless to help. (Just weeks after coming home, I met Paul and the last 7 years (can you believe it!!??) have been very busy... hectic even.)
This is me at the base of Ryan's lighthouse on Race Rocks 2004. Erin and I were lucky enough to hitch a ride to the island with the scuba diving students.
When we talked about visiting Erin this year, Paul warned me that he had accreditation in February and probably wouldn't be able to go and as it happened Erin's only time off was smack dab right in the middle of Paul's most stressful time at work. I thought about going to France and sleeping in her apartment but trading Newfoundland in February for Northern France in March didn't appeal much! Spain or Portugal were my choices! The local travel agent tried to find us a package but her suggestions were a little too rich for my blood, so I went looking online and found a great package of air, studio apartment (with Erin's accommodations included). And I skedaddled to Spain via a 15 hour stopover in Montreal. Don't ya just love how we have to travel one third of the way back into the North American continent before we can fly east!?
The people were friendly, the weather was incredible and the beachfront location was outstanding. The many restaurants in the area offered lots of choices for our meals and I walked until I got blisters on the bottoms of my feet! There's nothing sweeter in the world than reconnecting with your child, when the most pressing and stressful issue you have to deal with is... what time do we want to go out to eat? We shopped and suntanned, I swam and she suntanned, we lay on the beach (highly over rated in my opinion) and we visited the zoo. We walked and walked and walked and on Sunday morning we paid the euros and took a carriage ride around the town.
It was a perfect trip.
We have both changed a lot since that visit in B.C. (and thankfully she has changed even more since that trip to Ottawa in 2001!). The sadness that surrounded her and weighed heavy on her shoulders in 2004 is still a shadow that crosses her beautiful face and haunts her dreams. But now she sees the beauty in a sunrise and appreciates the world around her.She laughs freely and doesn't feel guilty at enjoying the lighter moments in life. She loves and allows others to love her. She can remember now and not cry. And while she did a whole lot of this healing on her own I also like to think that maybe just maybe it had a little bit to do with all the love she has received including the... Love from Lethbridge.
